A New Chuck Norris Fact

Time slows down the closer you get to the center of a black hole because that is where Chuck Norris Hangs out.

[ I made up this one, 2011-09-22]  

When I told it to my son, he said: "Time would just run away." 

To which I replied: "Nothing can escape Chuck Norris."

The Math and Logic of Yogi Berra

Math

• You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

• A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
  

• Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
  

• Another variation: Ninety percent of this game is half mental.
  

• Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
  

• You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn't enough, in the second half, you have to give what is left.

Logic

• The future ain't what it used to be.
  

• I really didn't say everything I said.
  

• I usually take a two hour nap from one to four.
  

• Never answer an anonymous letter.

• In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

• Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
  

• On why NY lost the 1960 series to Pittsburgh: We made too many wrong mistakes.
  

• It gets late early out here.
  

• If you don't know where you're going, you'll wind up somewhere else.

• If I didn't wake up I'd still be sleeping.
  

• Our similarities are different.
  [said by Dale Berra, Yogi's son, according to Retrogalaxy.com's Yogi-Berra.]
  

• I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.

• We have a good time together, even when we're not together [talking about his wife Carmen].
  

• Asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations, Yogi said "I'd say he's done more than that!"

[Various online sources, including YogiBerra.com's Yogi-isms and Retrogalaxy.com's Yogi-Berra]

Have You Conside that ...? (Thinking differently)

Fact: Most people have more than the average number of legs.

[Source: Joke #25, "31 Jokes for Nerds", YouTube Video, posted by Vlogbrothers]

(This observation is correct for all parts of the body.)